Imagine lightning here.
I’d been driving for hours. The sun was a shining disc in my rear view mirror sinking in a blaze of neon tangerine and blood red. The road ahead of me was ribbon of badly patched asphalt that dwindled in the distance, disappearing into a shaggy pine forest. A mountainous pile of thunderheads towered above the trees. Lightning forked and flickered across the pewter surface of the clouds.
I was flying down the road well over the speed limit, singing at the top of my lungs along with Dolores O’Riordan and The Cranberries in my best Irish accent. “…in your HEHed in your heEEehed zahAHMbee zahAHMbee zahAHMbeh eh eh eh…”
You think they forgot where they parked it?
I had only the vaguest notion where I was – somewhere on a Louisiana back road quickly approaching the other side of nowhere. It had been at least a half an hour since I’d passed a gas station, a habitable dwelling or another car. I had, however, seen 3 deer, a red-tailed hawk, a column of vultures, and an unidentified reddish blur that might have been a fox or a feral cat. I had passed an old barn crumbling under a cloak of ivy, a battered and rusted 50s model pick up sinking in a field of wildflowers, and a hand-painted sign nailed to a tree that said simply, REPENT.
I was lost, and it was fun. After 300 miles of mind-numbing monotony of the interstate, I had purposely left it in favor of the path less traveled. I probably should have topped off my tank first, but where’s the adventure without a little risk? As soon as I decided to pull off the road and consult my map, I would know where I was and the spell would be broken. Sadly, when the needle dipped below a quarter of a tank and I still hadn’t found a gas station, I did pull over and get out the map which showed me a relatively simple route back to the interstate where it is dismally impossible to get lost. An hour later I was back on I-10 with a fresh up of coffee trying not to let the blinding boredom lull me into a coma.
My little detour was possible only because I owned a road map and I knew how to read it, something I’m afraid my children will never be able to do. It’s hard to get lost these days when every other person drives a car with sat nav or carries a phone with GPS. Personally, I don’t want my phone giving me directions. It’s a phone. I like it to behave like one. And I like to tell my car where to go, not vice versa.
It’s compulsive. I can’t stop bringing them home.
And I love maps – the kind made of paper not pixels. Sure, I’ll admit to using Google maps to get directions but then I print the actual map to go with it. I like to see where I’m going. I like the big picture. And you can’t get much bigger than Google Earth, right? Yep,that’s pretty darned cool, too. But it can’t replace an actual globe – a model of our planet you can actually hold. I like that so much, I collect the silly things.
And yes, I still have a pile of state road maps in the glove compartment of my car, because that’s what’s supposed to be in the glove compartment (along with a tire gauge, a mini Mag Lite, a pack of petrified chewing gum, and at least one dried up ball point pen). I carry my maps with me in the car, because they don’t need to be recharged, and they don’t need to get good reception to work. They just kind of lie there and display information to anyone who wants to unfold it. It works every time. No dead zones or wimpy batteries. Because I only like to get lost when I set out to get lost. And only when I have the means to find my way again.
So I think some technology, as cool as it is, just makes us less capable and more vulnerable. What do you think? Are you a map or a sat nav person? Do you still own a globe or atlas because you think they’re art even when they’re out of date? Do you own a compass and know how to use it? Are our children learning to be helpless without their gadgets?
“…zahAHMbee…”
And most important, who do you sing along with in the car?
I’m still very much a map person. I own an atlas, and yes, it’s out of date, but that just makes it history. Compasses confuse the hell out of me. I think it’s amazing how much kids are learning from their gadgets so I don’t think they’d be helpless without them; they’d probably just invent new and better ones. Great post!
Thanks! I have my dad’s old atlas from college and it’s like a cartographic time capsule – history, science and art all in one book. And compasses aren’t much use to me either. I’ve done a lot of hiking but only on well marked trails. If someone dropped me in the wilderness with a map and a compass, I would probably starve while I wandered in circles. One day I’d like to change that. Thanks for reading!
Nice post. I love globes, too. I just got lost today when I was in a hurry to get somewhere, because my phone battery ran out. So my response will be a post, soon.
I’m looking forward to your story! Do you own a globe? Collecting them became a game for me. I only buy them in thrift stores or flea markets where I can get them cheap and I’m constantly on the look for anything different or older than the ones I already have. (Or I was. My partner suggested that once I started storing them in the garage, I probably had enough so I’m pretty picky now.)
Yes, I do have a globe. It would be the kind of thing I’d collect, if I collected stuff, but I try not to start too many collections. But more in a post.
Me too! Me too! Geography was my favorite subject in school. Do they even teach that in school anymore? I just love maps! I also have an atlas. I do use GPS in the big cities (for safety). They’ve been wrong… but never have my maps been inaccurate! I give my grandkids maps to play road games with their little cars. I use my older ones (not antiques, of course) for gift wrap. Love the look! ~Great post!
Maps as gift wrapping – cool idea! I’ll have to try to remember that. I have my father’s atlas from when he was in college – history, science and art wrapped op in one big book. I love that. And I would probably use GPS in big cities too (but I rarely get near one).
Yes, maps! Maybe we’ll cross paths some day if the technophile’s gadgets go belly up.
If I understand it correctly, all it would take is one big EMP and it’s all over for electronics and electrical things. So yep, I’ll keep my maps. See you after the pulse!
I am so totally with you, sister. I love looking for the quirky town names on my maps, like Lamb’s Grove. Isn’t that someplace Stephen King should be writing about? I mean, c’mon!
Oh cool! I do that too. I like Carbon Texas. Or Lizard Lick, NC. Or Hot Coffee, Mississippi. Lamb’s Grove is totally made for a horror story.
great post, although I use GPS everyday, there is something reassuring about using paper maps.
Thanks! Yep, it’s still hard for me to trust an anonymous bit of programming with an artificial voice to tell me the best way to get where I want to go.
I’m a total slave to my phone mapping software and many times it sucks. Getting lost is S-C-A-R-Y, I’m glad you found your way.
It is scary if I’m lost in a bad part of town and my car has broken down or if I’m lost in the woods miles from my car and the sun is setting. (Been there. Both cases.) My little shortcut was mostly just a fun break from the interstate. I don’t have a smart phone yet, but if I finally give in, I’m sure I’ll use whatever mapping software I have. I’ll just grumble about it.
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I love your spirit and the fact that you collect globes. And I love paper maps. And I’ll sing along to every song from the 80′s
Fabulous post! I love paper maps and we have a big bag of them from years of National Geographic. They make great gift wrap but then I have to part with it! I use a GPS, mostly when on vacation but locally I prefer my big map that is taped in a dozen places. We use our globe every day in our homeschool, I think it was the first thing I bought! Now that my son is driving, I get to be the one to use the map, which sits in our glove compartment on top of some licorice